Doha 59
नित नव सोचु सती उर भारा। कब जैहउँ दुख सागर पारा॥ मैं जो कीन्ह रघुपति अपमाना। पुनि पतिबचनु मृषा करि जाना॥१॥
सो फलु मोहि बिधाताँ दीन्हा। जो कछु उचित रहा सोइ कीन्हा॥ अब बिधि अस बूझिअ नहिं तोही। संकर बिमुख जिआवसि मोही॥२॥
कहि न जाइ कछु हृदय गलानी। मन महुँ रामहि सुमिर सयानी॥ जौं प्रभु दीनदयालु कहावा। आरति हरन बेद जसु गावा॥३॥
तौ मैं बिनय करउँ कर जोरी। छूटउ बेगि देह यह मोरी॥ जौं मोरें सिव चरन सनेहू। मन क्रम बचन सत्य ब्रतु एहू॥४॥
Meaning
The grief that preyed on Satī’s mind was heavy and ever new; for She did not know when She would be able to tide over the ocean of sorrow. ‘I slighted Śrī Raghunātha and again took my husband’s words to be untrue. (1) ‘Providence has requited me for my follies and has done only that which I deserved. Now, O God, it does not behove you that you should make me survive even after alienating me from Śaṅkara.’ (2) The anguish of Her heart was beyond words. The sane lady invoked the presence of Śrī Rāma in Her heart and addressed Him thus: ‘If they refer to You as compassionate to the afflicted and if the Vedas have glorified You as the dispeller of sorrow, (3) ‘I beseech you with folded hands, O Lord, that I may speedily get rid of this body of mine. If I have any devotion to the feet of Śiva and if I am true to my vow in thought, word and deed, (4)
तौ सबदरसी सुनिअ प्रभु करउ सो बेगि उपाइ। होइ मरनु जेहिं बिनहिं श्रम दुसह बिपत्ति बिहाइ॥५९॥
Meaning
‘then, O all-perceiving Lord, listen to me and speedily devise some plan whereby I may die and get rid of this unbearable calamity without much strain.’ (59)
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